Category Archives: Life Experiences & Personal Thoughts

Where’s your manner?

Didn’t mean to turn this blog into a rant dump but, I guess I just had to.

I’m generally a friendly and generous person, or at least I think I am at the moment. I know for a fact that I never was a great heart before, due to never having received anything even remotely close to positive from other people besides my own family. Not even real life friends.

But someone came along and changed me completely. Sometimes I’m thankful to them for making my way of thinking and belief turn way more positive, and other times, I hate them for changing me into a blind slave who will always underestimate his own abilities, disregard his own self values, and work his ass off for other people with a big smile.

Nowadays if you know me a bit personally, I’ll most probably say yes to helping you with almost anything within my fields, usually happily, without demanding any sort of substantial compensation. Or even when you’re a lazy fuck – and you know it – on the verge of having a major part of your life fall apart, that only a miracle could help you, I will still come along and help you in any way I can, either out of love or pity, expecting absolutely nothing in return. In a sense, sometimes I think it’s a productive trait to have. By believing that life is all about giving, you are more or less helping in making the world a better place, and you’ll soon start to get better in whatever you do, as well as better as a person, a friend, a spouse, a parent or whatever. This, I still do think is true.

But after a while, you start to have certain expectations on other people, which I believe in most cases are still within a reasonable range, and those expectations can have an accumulative effect, strike you hard at some point, and even drive you into a ditch full of worms that most would call ‘depression’.

Don’t get me wrong, by ‘expectations’, I didn’t mean that I expected the very same thing from others, as it would contradict with the exact belief that made me do all these in the first place. And that doesn’t mean that standing by this belief of mine, I’m supposed to expect truly nothing from others either.

I do. But not something substantial that can be directly beneficial to me, but something more motivational. Gratitude? Acknowledgement? Maybe both? I’m not very sure. But it has to be something that can serve as some sort of verification, or encouragement, that can remind me that I’m on the right track doing the right thing.

But there’s this one thing that I know for sure: all of the aforementioned things can be distilled from something as simple as saying “Thank you!”. It does the job of delivering your message – which you may mean it, or you may not, I don’t care – across just fucking fine.

And still, those two words seem to be quite a luxury to some people, as though they’re among the most difficult words to say ever. And sometimes it makes me question my own genuinity to the point of inner depression. But now I know, it’s not my own fault to begin with, and it shall never be.

You may think I care too much about minor details. Trust me, this is not. I mean come on, you should have known that just because the values of benefit in the compensation you’re giving can be reduced to zero, doesn’t mean that the value of importance in something else will remain the same. When we agree that by doing you a favor, I’m receiving something physically valuable back, like say money, I may not need to hear your “Thank you!” because I know I’m getting something else. That’s right. But when I’m doing you a favor without asking for anything, don’t you think it’s common sense that I am betting my own time and effort on just a simple “Thank you!”, and thus its importance grows significantly as a result?. A simple gratitude or acknowledgement, compressed in two simple words that literally cause you zero loss, can give people like us – who just 5 minutes ago did you a huge favor – significant values. So why do some people still not realize its importance? I’m not going to change my view on people just because of this. I just thought this should be addressed as I’ve seen and experienced such depression myself, and I know that it’s not a joke.

“Yay <3” does not equate “Thank you” and is not interchangeable with “Thank you”.

Folks, please do us a little favor, spend 1-2 seconds of your life, say these 2 words properly, to let us know that you actually appreciate it, even when you may not really do. It’s just that important, as I’ve said up there. Telling us how happy you are to see your work done doesn’t actually make us feel as good like in those modern fairy tales. Instead it’s almost like saying “I don’t give a shit about you. I’m just happy that my work got done. Your job is over, please move on.”

It’s just so … heartbreaking at times. We just don’t say it.

So yeah, before you continue to carry on with whatever grand and noble endeavor you’re in, just ask yourself a simple question: “Where’s your manner?”

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